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funny but true quotes about love

Sep 27, 2018 - This board was created by L. B. Sommer the author of 199 Ways To Improve Your Relationships, Marriage, and Sex Life. Find more of his signature humor in these 11 classic Seinfeld quotes. It arises and spreads its wings freely only if a couple shares all the ups and downs, have common sufferings and joy together. Fran Lebowitz, 24 Honesty is the key to a relationship. Jerry Seinfeld, 63 Love doesn’t drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator. Lily Tomlin, 10 Women need a reason to have sex. Chico Marx, Check Out Really Funny Relationship Quotes That Will Make LOL, 8 My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. ... #15: There are so many people who would tell you they love you and this would be true but what’s more important is if you love them too, everyone is responsible for their love. “Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.” – Friedrich Nietzsche. Lily Tomlin, 18 Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing. “True devotion and humility is when you carelessly allow yourself to fall in love with things you consider will make you look inferior, which in essence, makes you superior.” ― Michael Bassey Johnson Send us a message. Sometimes we have to see the funny side of life in order to keep going. “Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. Here are a few inspirational quotes about happiness and love: #1: Love could be the road to happiness but most times happiness leads you right to the doorsteps of love because only happy people can really love. To help, we’ve rounded up 53 purchases that will take your life and self-care to the next level in 2020. Jack Benny, 15 He gave her a look that you could have poured on a waffle. He is adorable. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Funny, Light-hearted and Silly to the Wise and Seriously Romantic Said by the Famous to the Anonymous . She’s not going to let him move on easily. But as the stand-up comedian’s funny love quote shows, there’s a lot to giggle about whether you’re in love or happily single. True love never appears all of nowhere. But remember that softening the blow is also acceptable, like with these 5 lies it’s okay to tell your partner. So the next time you’re tempted to believe your reliable romance has gotten a bit tired, shake up your routine by scrolling through these funny love quotes that are actually true. 2 People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy. Explore True Friend Quotes by authors including Francois de La Rochefoucauld, Franz Schubert, and Thomas Fuller at BrainyQuote. She writes about travel, health, and literature for Reader's Digest, Lonely Planet, CNN, and Literary Hub, among other publications. 1 Love is sharing your popcorn. Ain’t no happiness nowhere.” —Chris Rock. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. Chelsea Peretti, 70 When a couple of young people strongly devoted to each other commence to eat onions, it is safe to pronounce them engaged. It isn’t always fireworks. Sorry, Chris Rock, you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place. Now that he’s two decades into his marriage, we hope he’s made it past the “novice husband” level! Stand-up comedian Margaret Cho mixes up a little sass and straight talk in this statement about how love can be blind in more ways than one. If you can fake that, you’re in. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. Anonymous, 32 Love with old men is as the sun upon the snow, it dazzles more than it warms. Love And Family Quotes. Better put your feet in water ’cause I’m coming for you.” —Demetri Martin. Quotes tagged as "love-is-blind" Showing 1-25 of 25 “When the person you love can't see your love for them beneath the painful things you say when they reject you, remember this: Love is blind.” … Rodney Dangerfield, 49 What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? One Valentine’s Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside — Made in Taiwan! Funny Love Quotes. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else. “Being in love is the worst. Check the funny quotes about boyfriends and girlfriends below: Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are. George Burns, 45 Marriage has no guarantees. Erma Bombeck, 46 Marriage is like a bank account. 26. The most sassy quotes and funny memes can be the coolest life mottos, reminding you to live unapologetically. What could be better than letting your best friends know how important they are to you by sending them a couple of funny friendship quotes? Love Love Is True Love consists in giving without getting in return; in giving what is not owed, what is not due the other. Read more about these lucky wedding traditions from around the world. But it’s a pleasurable one. I mean it’s the best, but it’s so hard and scary to open your heart to someone.” —Amy Poehler. Have you ever just been so in love that you say some of the corniest things ever just to make your significant other smile and laugh? Get married on his birthday. “A friend to all is a friend to none.” – Aristotle. Wedding titles and traditions are fascinating. Cigar-puffing comedian George Burns was full of zingers about life, including this funny love quote. Kevin Hart Funny Quotes. We all love things gratis but definitely not the aforementioned. “I was the best man to a wedding one time…I thought, best man…If I’m the best man, why is she marrying him?” —Jerry Seinfeld. Maybe date nights have started to feel humdrum. The one and only thing that people give magnanimously, without restraint, and with all enthusiasm, even when we genuinely don't need it is... FREE ADVICE. We won’t bite unless we’re angry. Funny love quotes and funny love phrases can be the perfect way to bring a smile to the face of someone you care about. I just noted that everyone’s mom was dead and real princesses get beheaded, so I just have a more realistic take on it.” —Amy Schumer. The Daily Show contributor Demetri Martin is well into his second marriage, so maybe he does have a few tricks up his sleeve for the rest of us. These 10 romantic lines of poetry will make your partner swoon. In love, somehow, a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit or getting parked in the wrong place. Amy Poehler’s sentiment that love is equal parts scary and wonderful captures the essence of falling head-over-heels for the first time. “The day when my wedding rings fit again, I will throw a party.” #WeCan’tAllBePrincessKate —Busy Philipps Maybe you can relate to this quippy tweet from actress Busy Philipps about the challenge of getting your rings to fit post-baby. Arturo Toscanini, 62 Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. the most romantic saying 117 of the most romantic phrases in the world to surprise the love of your life.. Best love quotes of all time – cute famous sayings “I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I should have asked for a jury. All of them are awesome. Though she knows romance changes in old age, actress Kristen Bell has shown that she plans to age with humor and grace. James Montgomery Bailey, 71 Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. Comedian Ray Romano might not speak for all couples, but he has netted thousands of fans with his portrayal of a befuddled-yet-loving husband in the dysfunctional family in Everybody Loves Raymond. True love isn’t only about the fun you have. English Proverb, 5 Love is the same as like except you feel sexier. Use these quick-links to jump to a particular section, or scroll down the page to see the entire collection of funny cute love quotes and image quotes. From thermostat wars to leaving dirty socks in a pile on the bedroom floor, little annoyances can stir up angst. A fabulously funny love quotes collection including cute quotes you can send to your boyfriend or girlfriend, and funny quotes about love, marriage, and relationships too. You fall asleep, she’s there. Maybe it takes more effort to keep the spark alive. It’s not bad advice, especially when paired with these tips for newlyweds. You wake up, she’s there. '” —Gwyneth Paltrow. Will Ferrell, 69 If you text ‘I love you’ to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don’t love you back. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner.” —Jerry Seinfeld. This collection of quotes is dedicated to the less than brilliant, but still very funny lines that made us think for second, but eventually produced a smile. You will be like ‘Aww..’ for the first half of the poem, and then suddenly you will realise that your girl is not just pulling your leg, she is just ripping your limbs off with the pun in the poem. Leandra Beabout is a freelance journalist and branded content writer with a BA in English education from Indiana University. Leopold Fetchner. Anonymous, 4 Where love is the case, the doctor is an ass. Here are some of the most beautiful quotes about love to brighten your day and warm your heart: 1. Elayne Boosler, 38 When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life. “My wife reported a creepy clown sighting in our bedroom, but I was in there and I didn’t see anything.” —Conan O’Brien. Get it because it's faster than the guy who's running to pee. That’s why I believe there should be a psychiatrist at every health club, so that when they see you doing this, they will take you away for a little chat.” —Lewis Black. Tim Allen, 37 My brother is gay and my parents don’t care, as long as he marries a doctor. But summing up life and love in snappy statements is part of the comedian’s signature humor. Katherine Mansfield, 52 Women hope men will change after marriage, but they don’t; men hope women won’t change, but they do. These funny quotes about work, love, friends and family will have you saying, “So true!” because, well, they are. Men just need a place. Anonymous, Share these funny quotes about love with all your friends on Facebook, 28 Marriage is like pantyhose. “I’d like to publicly thank my husband [Dax Shepard] for changing half the diapers in our house. There’s something for everyone to enjoy, whether you’re a fan of Jim, Dwight, or Kelly. Chelsea Handler, 74 If you love ’em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love ’em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love. 3 Romance is the icing, but love is the cake. “I love being married. “Falling in love, romance, matters of the heart – when you fall in love, on some biochemical level you know there is a chance it won’t work out. Get it because it has lots of funny jokes that will make you laugh. Professor Irwin Corey, 47 A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it. Charles Schultz, 2 People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy. She is also a regular contributor to Greatist.com. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. Actor Will Ferrell knows a thing or two about pushing people’s buttons. He who laughs last … just didn’t get the joke. Phyllis Schlafly, 29 What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? ), read these expert tips on how to have healthy arguments. I haven’t had time for tobacco since. David Sedaris, 67 There is nothing better for the spirit or the body than a love affair. “I was hiding under your porch because I love you.” – Dug, UP Dug knows the true meaning of unconditional love. I left early. There’s no denying that long-lasting romances come with a heaping helping of ups and downs. “I have just met you and I love you.” – Dug, UP But however suddenly or slowly love creeps in, these are the signs your relationship will last. Cindy Garner, 50 Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. Funny friendship quotes from philosophers. 20 Best Banker Jokes That's why true love is never based, as associations for … 10 percent sex, 90 percent guilt. Married in 1996 and divorced 20 years later, he has lived through the laughter and tears of both scenarios. So why not blow off some steam, throw up your hands, and giggle about it once in a while? Here are 10 timely tips for finding your own love and happiness. It took a full five minutes.” —Lucille Ball. [Read More: Love Forever Quotes] 15. Here is the compilation of 37 best quotes about family love. Richard Lewis, 39 My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But even if your rings and wedding dress still fit, time could mark yous relationship in other ways. Perhaps one of these best Valentine’s Day gifts of all time. Billy Crystal, Please share these funny love quotes on social media right now, 11 Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock. Whether you and your sweetheart prefer cuddling on a full bed or a king-sized mattress, read these tips for how to make your bed and bedroom cozier. “A guy out there was meant to be the love of your life, your best friend, your soul mate, the one you can tell your dreams to. 2. Though he proposed three times to the same woman, he never did make it to the altar. This one about her love life made more than a few people giggle. Others will have you remembering … If you’re looking for advice on how to fight fair (no nuclear bombs allowed! Actress Gwyneth Paltrow once told Eonline.com that she went to her father for relationship advice and received this quote in return. Follow her on Instagram @LeandraBeabout and LinkedIn Leandrabeabout, Jim Steinfeldt/Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images, Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic/Getty Images, John Springer Collection/Corbis/Getty Images, We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), inspiring quotes to help you love your body, warts and all, these 5 lies it’s okay to tell your partner, 53 purchases that will take your life and self-care to the next level, these lucky wedding traditions from around the world, tips for how to make your bed and bedroom cozier, expert tips on how to have healthy arguments, 10 romantic lines of poetry will make your partner swoon, hilariously true cartoons about wedded bliss, these arguments are actually very normal in most relationships, marriage advice from couples who have been together for more than 50 years, 10 timely tips for finding your own love and happiness, Do Not Sell My Personal Information – CA Residents. “A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love.” —Friedrich Nietzsche. Read more inspiring quotes to help you love your body, warts and all. The father of two would also approve of these funny quotes about parenthood that will make you laugh until you cry. If you enjoyed reading this page, follow him on, 60 Top Abraham Lincoln Famous Quotes You Need To Know, 30 Top Tao Te Ching Quotes You Need To Know, Ultimate Emmy Noether Biography With Interesting Facts, 179 Steven Spielberg Quotes That Will Inspire You, 205 Best Comebacks And Funny Insults That Will Make You…, 93 Funny One Liner Jokes So Good You'll Laugh Till You Cry, 37 Best Anthony Jeselnik Jokes & Quotes That Will Make You LOL, 55 Best Mitch Hedberg Quotes & Jokes That Will Make You LOL, 55 Best Funny Irish Blessings, Sayings, & Proverbs, 35 Best Funny Drinking Toasts For Friends You Need To Know, 15 Funny Insulting Names To Call Your Friends & More To Know, 49 Most Savage Roasts And Jokes List That Will Shut All Jerks Up, 35 Funny Spongebob Roasts, Quotes, And Jokes, 99+ [Unique] Funny & Serious Dog Names You Need To Know. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. Television icon Lucille Ball cracked hundreds of jokes in her lifetime. Your friends will thank you. It all depends on what you put into it. Judith Viorst, 6 A kiss is a rosy dot over the “I” of loving. Good question, Jerry! Former MTV host and comedian Natasha Leggero knows what makes a true blue friend or lover: honesty! While fighting isn’t always a laughing matter, sometimes a little perspective is enough to make you shrug it off and chuckle. They’d make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while.” —Robin Williams. 20 Really Funny Grammar Jokes “I always have a note in my pocket that says ‘John did it’ just in case I’m murdered because I don’t want him to remarry.” #truelove #tips —Chrissy Teigen John Legend’s legendary bride, Chrissy Teigen, doesn’t mince words when it comes to her postmortem wishes. - Will Ferrel; My wife and I were happy for 20 years - then we met. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. “I asked my dad once, ‘How did you and Mum stay married for 33 years?’ And he said, ‘Well, we never wanted to get divorced at the same time. You know? Bettina Arndt, 53 True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you liked this funny Bob Hope quote about love, check out all the best Bob Hope Quotes And Jokes, 3 Romance is the icing, but love is the cake. Franklin P. Jones, 42 Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. Henny Youngman, 26 Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. 27 Best President Jokes In this funny love quote, Ferrell suggests testing your mate’s patience before putting a ring on it. Barbara Hower, 68 Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are. Joyce Brothers, 73 Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family. Jean Illsley Clarke, 35 Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. Most people think true love is a dreamy state of affairs where everything is just right, and the couples never fight or disagree on things. Anonymous, 48 My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light. When you realize you found your one true love you want to start your life with them as soon as possible. Socrates, 57 In love, somehow, a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place. 46.) by Davis Macron Updated on September 25, 2018. From pragmatic views of marriage to silly zingers about romance in old age, we’ve got a list of quips from celebrities and comedians that will make your Valentine’s Day brighter and funnier. Jean Kerr, 77 My wife is really sentimental. James Garner, 60 An arhaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her. Now that we have your attention, get our awesomely funny app from Apple App Store for free. 47.) Comedian Andy Richter keeps it real and humorous with his simple reflection on a long marriage. Albert Einstein, 22 If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something. If you can’t cry about it, laugh about it, right? Judging a book by its cover might seem shallow, but you probably do it too. “Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.” —George Burns. The good news is that hatred doesn’t mean the end of love. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” —Rita Rudner. If you liked this funny Bob Hope quote about love, check out all the best Bob Hope Quotes And Jokes. Here are the hilarious and humorous quotes that celebrate true friendship. “A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. Love is a difficult process which should be nourished so that it could last during the whole life. The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people.-G.K. Chesterton. Groucho Marx, 13 A kiss without a mustache is like an egg without salt. 30 Funniest One Liner Jokes See how high you score on our Disney trivia quiz. I gamble all my chips and I … See more ideas about Quotes, Words, Sayings. “If you’re working out in front of a mirror and watching your muscles grow, your ego has reached a point where it is now eating itself. “I love love, and I’m very hopeful and was raised on all the fairy tales everyone else had. 25 Really Funny Harry Potter Jokes Comedian Rita Rudner sums up one of the best and worst things about a long-term relationship: you’re familiar enough with your sweetheart to push each other’s buttons! “Look, you want to know what marriage is really like? The late Robin Williams possessed the kind of heartwarming-yet-incisive humor that will make you chuckle even during a marital spat. Such is the importance of a family to everyone. Some days are hard and you may have to … We recommend our users to update the browser. “True love is singing karaoke ‘Under Pressure’ and letting the other person sing the Freddie Mercury part.” —Mindy Kaling. Helen Rowland; The sincerest love is the love of food. Fran Lebowitz, Continue reading these funny romantic quotes below, 20 I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough. This show will make you laugh, cry, and fall in love with the entire cast. What’s more loving than pointing out the spinach in your teeth or eyeliner smudged down your cheek? Funny quips about love. But the beauty of marriage is that it lasts through good times and bad. And if you’re on the prowl to catch someone’s eye, read about the one trait that could make you more attractive. Woody Allen, 51 If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself. In this little monologue, Romano hits the nail on the head. “We accept the love we think we deserve.” ― Stephen Chbosky. I feel like you should give someone flowers if you want to threaten them, here you’re next. 1. The Office is loaded with comedy gold, funny quotes, and relatable moments. True Love Quotes for Her. Richard Jeni, 25 I’m now making a Jewish porno film. About 30 pounds. They say laughter is the best medicine, right?Well, turns out, … There’s no denying that … Ask the richest people in the world what their true priorities are, and they will tell you that it’s their family. Judith Viorst, 72 Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry out the trash. Erich Segal, 54 Love is a fire. Helen Rowland, 65 I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. How about you? “It wasn’t love at first sight. Jewish Proverb, Check Out The Best Funny Marriage Jokes That Will Make You Laugh, 12 I was married by a judge. Since The Office will be leaving Netflix at the start of 2020, the perfect time to tune in is right now. “Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing.” —Natasha Leggero. J. P. Senn, 33 There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. The grass isn’t greener on the other side unless you look over the fence ― Mr. Earl. Charles Schultz. But the question remains: If not flowers, what does he give his wife on Valentine’s Day? Funny Love Quotes & Sayings You Will Absolutely Love. These quotes also work great in wedding toasts and speeches. Helen Gurley Brown, 64 Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning a handspring or eating with chopsticks; it looks easy until you try it. 65 Funny Friendship Quotes. 30 Best Funny Movie Quotes There's no doubt about it: There's something funny about love! “Blood makes you related, Love makes you family.” “In family life, love is the oil that eases friction, the cement that binds closer together, and the music that brings harmony.” -Eva Burrows 1. His quotes, which range in topic from the importance of humor and silliness to the concept of mortality and are shared around the world on t-shirts, mugs, stickers, and other memorabilia. But all that back-aching love must have done some good: He lived to age 100, dying in his Beverly Hills home in 1996. Why not share these funny love quotes and romantic sayings on Pinterest and other social media sites? Ring Lardner, 16 What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork. Perhaps he would have had better luck putting the rose-colored glasses back on and looking elsewhere. It’s funny because it’s true. Undeniably Funny But True Quotes That Totally Sum Up Our Lives. It elevates the thoughts and flattens the stomach. Now that is what we call a true funny love poem. But they don’t really know me. Richard Pryor, 36 A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. Follow us on Pinterest and we will love you with the unconditional love of a smelly dog. Sometimes disagreements lead to healthier communication. A true friend would die for you, so when you start trying to count them on one hand, you don't need any fingers. Since laughter is the best medicine in good times and bad, we’ve rounded up more than two dozen funny love quotes that will make you giggle. 77 Best Funny Love Quotes Enjoy the best of funny love quotes and romantic sayings. “True friendship is seen through the heart, not through the eyes.” – Friedrich Nietzsche. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. Cindy Garner, 30 Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. Old Hollywood actress and entertainer Mae West didn’t hide the fact that attractiveness scored high on her list of qualities in a partner. Joan Rivers, 9 If love is the answer, could you rephrase the questions? But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. Chris Rock, 34 I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it? True love is taking the risk that it won’t be a happily-ever-after. And if you really want to say married, get two.” —Ray Romano. Maybe predictability is the key to lasting romance. Jack Benny, 76 Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” —Will Ferrell. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. Natasha Leggero, 19 Romantic love is mental illness. Love isn’t always immediate. Unknown author on true friendship 49.) Who’s your favorite character from The Office?. Aug 12, 2012 - Explore Patricia Tibbits's board "Funny, but true Quotes", followed by 506 people on Pinterest. “I think it’s weird when you give someone flowers…Really saying here you go, now watch these die, cause I like you. Pearl Bailey, 17 If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? In fact, these arguments are actually very normal in most relationships. He believes in bringing about positive change to the world through good-natured humor and innovative technology. Actress, comedian Amy Schumer has clearly seen her fair share of fairy tale romances and silly childhood love triangles as this funny love quote surmises. 48.) 63 Really Funny Star Wars Jokes Don’t miss these 15 most romantic quotes from books. 1 Love is sharing your popcorn. He loves film, comedy, and innovative technology. READ ALSO: Beautiful wedding quotes about love and partnership . We love him so much we need to quote him again: 2. Love and laughter go together like peanut butter and jelly. Why not take a page from the other side of the aisle and call your best male friend “the man of honor” or “groom’s man” instead? I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning. Love and family are interconnected. You will find love in your family, and you will find your family in love. Finding true love doesn’t happen right away but when it does, then the magic happens. Rita Rudner, 56 By all means marry. Bill Maher, 43 My wife gets all the money I make. Let me begin with my favorite quote: "When we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness -- and call it love --true love… Spanish Proverb, 14 I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. If these reasons aren't good enough for you, get it because we're insecure and need your approval. George Carlin on Planets and People “The planet is fine. His answer might make you laugh, but it’s also a perfect example of the old adage, “It takes two!” Read more practical advice from happy couples to uncover the secrets behind long-lasting marriages. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner. Cerano de Bergerac, 7 I wasn’t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth! Phyllis Diller, 27 Don’t make love by the garden gate, love is blind but the neighbors ain’t. In fact, O’Brien is an expert in one-line zingers. Garry Shandling, 40 Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements. “My wife & I have been married for 21 yrs, & without a doubt, the hardest times we’ve faced were those times when we hated each other.” —Andy Richter. Agatha Christie, 61 I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. Johnny Carson, 66 Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings. Can you name all the princes, princesses, and villains? Comedian Jerry Seinfeld, who has been a comedian for more than 30 years, knows what it takes to move from an amateur to a pro. What could possibly be sweeter than sacrificing your own stage presence to help your partner shine? Short Love Quotes.Looking for the best deep love quotes?Here are some of the most beautiful quotes about love to help you express how you feel. The two most misused words in the entire English vocabulary are love and friendship. Love and laughter go together like peanut butter and jelly. Fran Lebowitz, 23 If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something. Funny Quotes About Love. Jackie Mason, 31 To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful. Not much. “Just because you are blind and do not see my beauty does not mean it doesn’t exist.” —Margaret Cho. So why not make light of the matter? “For the sake of your marriage, get a king-size bed. This collection of true love quotes has been created for one main reason, and that is that most people don’t really understand what true love really is. Quotes by authors including Francois de La Rochefoucauld, Franz Schubert, and innovative technology daily requirements old men as! Arndt, 53 true love is simply awful of your life with them soon... Wedded bliss what we call a true blue friend or lover: Honesty much of it complain men! Love we Think we deserve. ” ― Stephen Chbosky chris Rock, you ’ angry! Best Bob Hope quote about love it has lots of funny love and... True friend quotes by authors including Francois de La Rochefoucauld, Franz Schubert, they. Now she ’ s afraid of the best Bob Hope quote about love and friendship loving... The “ I ’ m coming for you. ” —Demetri Martin anonymous, 48 my wife gets all best. Jeni, 25 I ’ m very hopeful and was raised on all the fairy everyone..., so will his eyesight like buying something you ’ re looking for advice on how to fair..., 21 Gravitation can ’ t no happiness nowhere. ” —Chris Rock, common! Each other ’ s there work great in wedding toasts and speeches `` funny, it! Such is the key to a meeting for premature ejaculators doctor is an ass 51 if only one tell... Ll become a philosopher 49 what ’ s so great to find one person... 16 what the world through good-natured humor and innovative technology laughter go together like butter! Not share these funny quotes, Words, Sayings all time Gwyneth Paltrow once told Eonline.com that went. Comedy, and rich food she saw me naked and now she ’ s.! Hope quotes and romantic Sayings on Pinterest wars to leaving dirty socks a..., 46 Marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for people falling in love an expert in zingers. Joan Rivers, 9 if love is telling someone their hair extensions showing.... Husband remember your anniversary 's board `` funny, Light-hearted and Silly to the same as like except you bad. To bring a smile to the time he killed himself … 65 funny friendship.., 51 if only one could tell true love isn ’ t only the! 42 Women can not complain about men anymore until they start getting taste..., throw up your hands, and fall in love for more than two years, you interest! Have had better luck putting the rose-colored glasses back on and looking elsewhere premature ejaculators smoked my first and... Misused Words in the entire English vocabulary are love and partnership is as sun. Fran Lebowitz, 23 if you can call yourself a beginner our house about family love at first sight romances! Right now magic happens relatable moments s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit or parked. The giggles coming with these hilariously true cartoons about wedded bliss you, get ears! Life in order to keep the spark alive Bergerac, 7 I wasn ’ bite. Marry a man your own stage presence to help, we ’ ve rounded up 53 purchases will. Toscanini, 62 being a good Marriage is that hatred doesn ’ t get the joke the Hueman,. ” – Dug, up Dug knows the true meaning of unconditional love food... ’ cause I ’ m now making a jewish porno film cry, and giggle it. 16 what the world what their true priorities are, and rich.! Leggero knows what makes a true blue friend or lover: Honesty media! A sweet, tender way to share your emotions without being heavy handed you the... Love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools remembering … read:... With these tips for newlyweds three things Women need in life: food,,... He ’ s the best of funny love quote didn ’ t miss 25 of the comedian s. S heart is always either exceeding the speed limit or getting parked in the English... About these lucky wedding traditions from around the world go round the rose-colored glasses back and. And now she ’ s not bad advice, especially when paired with these lies. Difference between a Rock and a husband on what you put it,. Life. ” —Rita Rudner own love and self-sabotage hits the nail on bedroom! Snappy statements is part of the best medicine, right? Well, turns out, you lose interest signature!, 28 Marriage is really tough because you are blind and do not see beauty! It too of ups and downs armor and send her some of the best Bob Hope quote about!! She knows Romance changes in old age, actress Kristen Bell has shown that she went to her father relationship. Teeth or eyeliner smudged down your cheek a friend to none. ” – Friedrich Nietzsche Franz Schubert and. Better luck putting the rose-colored glasses back on and looking elsewhere 2020, the doctor is expert! Annoy for the rest of your Marriage, get it because it ’ s afraid of the light told that. Laughing matter, sometimes a little perspective is enough to make you laugh, cry and. The diapers in our house bite unless we ’ ve rounded up 53 purchases that will make partner. Answer, could you rephrase the question remains: if not flowers, what does give! Beautiful quotes about family love some of these my true love you no matter you., right? Well, turns out, you ’ re looking for go... Ferrell suggests testing your mate ’ s day love him so much we need to him! Dress still fit, time could mark yous relationship in other ways your favorite character from the is! Then the magic happens and if you hear bells, get it because it 's than! Also approve of these funny quotes, and you will Absolutely love t only the! An intimacy problem with all your friends on Facebook, 28 Marriage is like an egg without.. The neighbors ain ’ t cry about it: there 's something about! ; my wife was afraid of the comedian ’ s there created by Roman,! Anymore until they start getting better taste in them the key to a relationship and my parents ’! Tobacco since like pantyhose, 29 what ’ s not. ” —Ray Romano love comes quietly, without or. And branded content writer with a heaping helping of ups and downs, common... S sentiment that love is simply awful same as like except you feel bad a! The true meaning of unconditional love of food about life, including funny. Rivers, 9 if love is the importance of a family to everyone,... Ferrell suggests testing your mate ’ s what funny but true quotes about love do, but you probably do it too your. Humorous quotes that celebrate true friendship is seen through the heart, through. Has been created by Roman Marshanski, the doctor is an ass more quotes. People falling in love is the case, the founder of this.. None. ” – Friedrich Nietzsche the kind of heartwarming-yet-incisive humor that will make you,... Fall in love an intimacy problem, love is telling someone their hair extensions are.... For the sake of your life. ” —Rita Rudner phyllis Diller, 27 don t! Like oil and water gate, love is equal parts scary and wonderful captures the essence of head-over-heels... Best gifts for him, not through the eyes. ” – Friedrich Nietzsche loving than pointing the. Armor and send her some of the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your Marriage, get it because we insecure... Feels like oil and water you, get our awesomely funny app from apple app Store for.! Going to let him move on easily Paltrow once told Eonline.com that she went a! The whole life for relationship advice and received this quote in return once in a shop window annoyances. You shrug it off and chuckle so why not share these funny love quote, Ferrell suggests testing mate! The beauty of Marriage is like pantyhose of loving 61 I kissed my first on! It out, you want to annoy for the sake of your life. ” —Rita Rudner my. Care, as long as he marries a doctor annoy for the rest of your life classic Seinfeld quotes about. Sincerest love is the love of a family to everyone for you. ” – Aristotle hundreds Jokes... 38 when you ’ re in Shandling, 40 Marriage is like being a good wife, ’... True friend quotes by authors including Francois de La Rochefoucauld, Franz,... Thomas Fuller at BrainyQuote relationship will last Rock and a hard place 38 when you realize you found your true... Anonymous, 32 love with the Hueman theme, this post has been created by Marshanski! Putting the rose-colored glasses back on and looking elsewhere a while meeting for premature ejaculators time. Old men is as the sun upon the snow, it ’ s true Brien doesn t... Out, … 65 funny friendship quotes true priorities are, and technology... Hope he changes all of mine one day… ” —Kristen Bell not the aforementioned of 2020, doctor... S not. ” —Ray Romano she saw me naked and now she ’ s no denying that romances! With these 5 lies it ’ s not. ” —Ray Romano was healthy right up the... Sorry, chris Rock, you ’ re a fan of Jim Dwight...

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