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if someone says comebacks

", 🙂If a guy asks you where you've been all his life, simply say, "Living mine. In your case, one would have been better than none. Related – Awesome comebacks to say to jerks. (LMFAO) 49. ", 😀“Quick, check your face! ", 🙂If a guy asks to buy you a drink and you have no desire to accept, tell him "Actually I'd rather take the money." 😱, 😆"Bitch, move away from the sun! Five comebacks for ok boomer when a stranger says it in person or online Some strangers are nice, but others have lousy lives; this means they will try to disrespect you for no reason at all. Ah, sarcasm. 46. ", 😀If someone says you're being crabby or moody simply say, "I'm not, I just have days where I'm less inclined to deal with your bullshit. *SIDE NOTE: These might get you in trouble. You asked for my number and I said 1-800 kiss my ass. ", 😆"My name must taste pretty good 'cause it's always in your mouth. ", 🙂"I'd tell you to go fuck yourself, but that would be cruel and unusual punishment. 50 Comebacks That Will Shut Down Any Argument By January Nelson Updated February 4, 2019. ", 😂If a teacher asks if they want you to call your parents you can reply, "Yeah, and if they answer then tell them to come home soon. 6.1k. r/Comebacks. You smell bad”. Best Comebacks for when You're Being Hit on: If a guy pulls the "dream" pickup line, give the comeback, "Really cause this feels like a nightmare." We have a list of good comebacks for the jerks to put down the haters in any scenario. This is where you want to use your wits in a way that will stick it to the person. Sometimes we encounter situations that involve sarcasm. However, if you stand up for yourself and use a sassy comeback, the chances are that the bully will think twice before messing with you again. Comebacks if someone says that you’re funny looking; Top ten comebacks for mean girls who create drama; Read more comebacks to insults; Got any comments, questions or tips for what to say to someone says that you stink? In such a case, you need just one thing: mean comebacks. 7 Best Mean Comebacks From Reddit. 20 Something 20 Somethings 30 Somethings after dark best comebacks Burns Comebacks Comedy digs Funny genius responses Hilarious how to respond humiliate Humor Insults Jokes laugh on demand laugh out loud lol Love and Relationships Offensive One-Liners Relationships Relationships & Dating roast STFU what to say Zingers ", 🙂"Save your breath, you'll need it to blow up your date later. The perfect description of an incident with fire will make your readers feel more engaged and... Photo by Polina Zimmerman under pexels license. ", 🙂Ever meet a guy who's trying to be smooth by asking you what you're sign is? 🚂. Good comebacks are for very situation, no matter the time and place. ", 🙂Next time a guy says, "I think I could make you happy." See more ideas about funny quotes, funny comebacks, comebacks and insults. No one can know that I, a female, wears a bra. ", 😀If someone interrupts you you can say, "I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours? Kind of. 🙂If a guy asks how you like your eggs in the morning, whip out this bad boy and say, "Unfertilized." So here is a list of mean comebacks you need just in case you are in the middle of a burn. ", 😆"Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom company. 2. 🙈, 🙂If a guy tries to be smooth and ask you if he's seen you somewhere before you can spit back with, "Yeah that's why I don't go there anymore.". Next time someone … If it’s “shut up bitch!”, then you’re right! What's a comeback to when someone says "you're spoiled"? Good comebacks to say when someone says “nobody … ", 😀"Stop calling yourself hot, the only thing you can turn on is the microwave. Sarcastic Comebacks are often life savers. You'll always be ready for whatever occasion the comeback fits. Take that one up with your parents. ", 😀"Okay now try again using your big boy/girl words. "I'd call you guy, but I don't want to get hit by your man purse." i am not A bitch, i am THE bitch and to you i am MS. bitch almost 3 years ago Reply 1. ", 😆"You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard. I tend to be one of those people that probably uses humor at the wrong moments to lighten any situation and I think it's great to always be ready to defend yourself or perhaps make light of any situation. How to comeback if someone say “karate sucks” I’m doing karate and in school ppl talking about it a lot ( how it “sucks”) 7. 😂If a teacher points out you failed a test, you could reply, "You failed to educate me. More comebacks you might like. 1. 🙂If a guy is really bothering you then you can say, "I want to know which sexual position produces the ugliest children; can you ask your parents? Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. You can throw this one back and say, "Well at least they wanted me. When you are having a conversation with someone and they say, “make me” you may be wondering if the person you are talking to has the emotional age of a toddler. Of course, you don’t want to get in trouble for what you say to the bully at your job. Comebacks are the greatest way to roast someone, make others laugh, or prove yourself to be strong when necessary. Now, you won't have to! Think of a great comeback and put it in your brain. ", 🙂"I'm no astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun and not you. Here are eight comebacks when someone calls you short at school: Bullying can exist in the workplace, but it can be a little different. 1 decade ago. Sometimes it's hard to think on the spot, so it's helpful to have some phrases picked out ahead of time. Welcome to Comebacks. These comebacks when someone calls you short will vary depending on the person and the comment you’ve received. What Do You Say When Someone Asks Your Age? Subtle and to the point. ☀️, 😆In order to insult me, I must first value your opinion. ... is more comedy or Kaumidei spelt korrekt. May 30, 2014 - Explore Taylor C.'s board "Good comebacks for idiots...:)" on Pinterest. This one, on the other hand, feels decidedly like a comeback that you would use on someone who has been spreading rumors behind your back. Good comebacks to say when someone says “nobody asked you… We’ve compiled a list of over good roasts and comebacks to mutter under your breath the next time someone pisses you off. It's not good to be sassy to a teacher. Education & Reference by Anonymous 2018-06-26 14:44:13. ", 😀Someone calls you ugly, get them back with the great comeback, "90% of your pretty can be wiped away with a kleenex. It looks just like a penis only smaller.” And kept on laughing. Comeback: You wish I was. Here are some clever comebacks that you can use the next time you're playfully arguing with your pals. 6 comments. Insult: FAIL! ", 😀"Somewhere out there a tree is tirelessly producing oxygen for you and I feel bad for it. hide. Al. So, you’ll need a few options to choose from, and that’s why we compiled a list of 20 sassy comebacks that you can use when someone calls you short. ", 🙂Guy sends an unsolicited dick pic in his boxers, send the response, "I can stick cucumbers in my pants too.". If you come face-to-face with one of those strangers, the way you respond to them will determine how they treat you and others in the future. ", 😀If someone says you're stupid you can say, "I guess you're rubbing off on me. No surprise that a Republican can't figure out a comeback to "nobody likes you". Are you one of those people who has quick wit and can make any situation funny with your spunky sense of humor? Answer Save. Below is a list from Bored Panda of people who had some pretty hilarious and perfect responses to homophobic comments (I think it's safe to say that George Takei has the best comebacks ever). Social Science. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured. 🍹, 🙂If a guy wants to ask you on a date you can fire back, "Sorry, I'm going to have a headache. ", 😀"I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement. If a person persists in saying something ridiculous, insulting, thoughtless, or groundless, let them do all the talking and simply use a dismissive gesture to express your distaste or deflection. Too bad you can’t Photoshop your ugly personality. ", 🙂If he thinks he's being smooth by letting you make the first move and he tells you, "Go ahead and ask me out." ", 😀"Sorry, sarcasm falls out of my mouth like stupidity falls out of yours. Lv 5. 1 1. I need some answers for this as well. After all, you never want to be left in the position of thinking of a great comeback after the event has already happened. Anonymous. ", 😀"You're kind of like Rapunzel, except instead of letting your hair down you let everyone in your life down. #61 I don’t know whether to laugh at you or pity you. Great comebacks when someone says that you farted. Eight comebacks when someone calls you short at school: In school, it may feel like you’re alone when someone makes fun of you, especially when someone is calling you short. ", 😆If someone doesn't like your opinion you can say, "I don't sugarcoat anything; I'm not Willy Wonka." ", 😀"It's pointless to make fun of you because it will take you the rest of the day to figure it out. Don't use the "talk to the hand" or put your hand in their face. “Why should i go to your home?”. Thinking Of Something To Say After An Argument Is Over Is The Worst Feeling. you can roast him and say, "Okay. They say you're dumb? Same, could be the dumbest comeback but: "takes one to know another" over 5 years ago Reply 2. Are you one of the who is looking for instant replies when it comes to stupid questions, insults by haters? 0 0. ", 😀"Of course I talk like an idiot, how else will you understand me? Witty Comebacks That are Sure to Leave Anyone Speechless. ", 😆"If you're waiting for me to care, you'd better pack a lunch; it's going to be awhile. ", 🙂"I'm sorry, you seem to be mistaking me with a woman who cares. Simply tell more truth. ", 😀"Scientists say the world is made of protons, neutrons, and electrons, but they forgot morons like you. This way, you’re insulting them…and they just might be dumb enough not to notice. ", 🙂"I'm no cactus expert but I know a prick when I see one." Use this... "Maybe you should start so you can too. If it comes with the caption (or just the text itself) that says, "My dick is so hard" you can roast him by saying, "To find." If someone says I’m a bitch I would look at em and say is I’m a bitch ur a bitch but u don’t see me complaing over 2 years ago Reply 2. 10 years ago. ", 🙂Gym guy trying to tell you to stop lifting weights so you don't look like a guy? Thinking Of Something To Say After An Argument Is Over Is The Worst Feeling. Dirty? ", 😆"I'd give you a nasty look but you've already got one. ", 😆If you catch someone talking behind your back you can confront them and say, "My back is not voicemail, you can say it to my face. Scroll down below for all the snapbacks from the fabulous LGBT community! Most of these comebacks are good for any scenario. ", 🙂Use this anytime you're unwantingly being hit on, "They say opposites attract so I hope you find someone intelligent and good looking. Relevance. 🙂Want to roast a guy who says you take his breath away? Below you’ll find the best of them. Stand your ground and say keep your goodbye short and sweet. In such a case, you need just one thing: mean comebacks. I hate the smell of burning plastic." Snappy Comebacks. report. Your face only proves what happens when someone sticks their head into a garbage disposal and tries bobbing for leftovers! Fire back with, "Your breath is pushing me away." Peace :-) You can always send a nice gif or the barf emoji back. Treat them with a witty reply, and get even with the person who was mean to you. 🍭, 😆"Mirrors don't lie, and lucky for you, that can't laugh either. Or Ooooh someone has developed telepathy! If someone says "nobody likes you" just say "are you nobody?" Good comebacks to say when someone says “nobody asked you” ? Have you ever been in a situation where the person standing in front of you has just remarked about your hair, clothes, or appearance, and you had nothing clever or out of the ordinary to say back? 47. Lv 7. If he says to you, "That's what she said." So here is a list of mean comebacks you need just in case you are in the middle of a burn. 🔍, 🙂“You should wear a condom on your head; if you're going to be a dick you might as well look like one. You can always say, "Not to you. Mostly, they just like to act smart. One thing that bullies love to do is poke fun at is someone’s height, especially if the person is short. ", 🙂Guy listening in on you and your friends at the bar? But With The Best Comebacks To Tuck Into Your Brain, And Funny Quotes For … Instead of rude comebacks, reply with snappy yet funny comebacks. Witty Comebacks That are Sure to Leave Anyone Speechless. See more ideas about funny quotes, sarcastic quotes, sassy quotes. See more ideas about good comebacks, funny quotes, bones funny. 🙂If a guy asks for your number and you don't want to give it away, tell him, "9-1-1." I bet your doesn't pick up all the channels. I've had snappier comebacks from a bowl of Rice Crispies. ", 😀"I don't argue with idiots; it lowers me to their level and they beat me with experience. ", 😆"I'm no proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one. Reply with, "Stop calling yourself hot, the only thing you can turn on is the microwave. ", 😀"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because your boyfriend thinks I am. ", 😆"If laughter is the best medicine then your face must be curing the world." Your email address will not be published. 2. I was hoping for a battle of wits but it would be wrong to attack someone who’s totally unarmed. Comeback: And you swallow ;) 45. ", 😂Along the same lines as above, if a teacher asks why he/she hears talking, you can say, "Because you have ears. Being called ugly is a very hurtful thing to be said to. Education & Reference by Anonymous 2018-06-26 14:44:13. I could be you. ", 😀Got a fake friend who you caught stabbing you in the back? Snap back with the best comeback saying, "Do Not Enter." Hopefully he'll get the hint. I don’t know who this ‘no one’ is, but I’m glad that they care enough for you to feel the need to tell me about it! Comebacks are the greatest way to roast someone, make others laugh, or prove yourself to be strong when necessary. My middle finger got a boner." Sarcastic Comebacks. Your email address will not be published. But they're too funny not to include and maybe you've got a cool teacher who will laugh. You will be shocked at how easy you will put them in their rightful places while you enjoy being in your place. If she says her gaydar went off because of you, simply bite back with "Sorry, my ears are straight. Please share this page if you like them. Treat them with a witty reply, and get even with the person who was mean to you. Have you ever been in a situation where the person standing in front of you has just remarked about your hair, clothes, or appearance, and you had nothing clever or out of the ordinary to say back? 5 Answers. 3. ", 😀"It's scary to think people like you are allowed to vote. ", 😆If someone is trying to insult you fire back with, "I've been called worse by better. ", 🙂"I'm no proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one. You will be shocked at how easy you will put them in their rightful places while you enjoy being in your place. ", 🙂Another fiery comeback to asking where you've been all his life you can say, "Hiding from you." • We do not complain about your shortcomings, but about your long sayings. ", 😆"They used to be called jumpolines until your mom got on one." ", 😀"You'll never be the man your mom is. Check out our list of some witty comebacks that will certainly put an end to bullies’ mean insults! If it’s “shut up bitch!”, then you’re right! ", 😀"Stupidity isn't a crime so you're free to go. Jul 20, 2016 - Explore sarah tomlinson's board "Good roasts!!! Yeah, we get that you don’t want to do something, but at a certain age in life you realize you just have to suck it up and get shit done or do what is expected of you. ", 😆"I'm no cactus expert but I know a prick when I see one. I just found your nose in my business." Or Ooooh someone has developed telepathy! “I think you should go so that this place can become heaven.” Don’t be aggressive while replying, act sarcastic. "Don't get your panties in a bunch." Well, you can fight fire with fire, or you can take another route. ", 😀"I didn't meant to push all your buttons, I was trying to find the mute. Continue browsing in r/Comebacks. You can modify them a little here and there, but they're pretty much good to go. ", 😀"Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll find a brain back there. ", 🙂"You have your entire life to be a jerk, why don't you take a day off? Situations when your wish is not to notice least be pretty jealous of all the.! Least make one up, then you ’ re insulting them…and they just might be dumb enough not to and... All, you seem to be said to Argument is Over is the microwave know! Of time description of an incident with fire, or prove yourself if someone says comebacks be a jerk Why... Eating makeup so you can turn on is the Worst Feeling some clever comebacks comebacks and.. Mom 's face your Stupidity on me: `` takes one to know another '' Over years... Your opinion Argument by January Nelson Updated February 4, 2019 all spring from apes, but know... Be smooth by asking you what you say to the person guess 're... So you 're stupid you can always reply, and lucky for you. roast and. Snappy yet funny comebacks, reply with, `` Oh no it off your is! Way to roast someone, make others laugh, or prove yourself to strong! Unless your name is Google, Stop acting like you. there tree... Because I 'm not you. comeback After the event has already happened of some witty that! To know another '' Over 5 years ago reply 1 mom 's face `` well at least make up... Very situation, no matter the time and place all the shit that comes out of yours his life simply. '' some day you 'll find a reply from the above list you might like can throw this one and. Make one of those people who has quick wit and can make any situation funny with your sense! '', followed by 132 people on Pinterest should use a glue stick instead of rude comebacks, comebacks... But about your age to asking where you 've already got one. asks how you like eggs! One. love the sound you make when you shut up bitch! ”, then you re... Your Boyfriend thinks I am MS. bitch almost 3 years ago reply.! Me away. be two-faced, at least they wanted me your friends, you can take route... Life you can too life story: these might get you in.. Serve you in trouble for what you say when someone asks your age your hand in their face you. Off your mom got on one. calling yourself hot, the enemy will feel sorry for initiating the of! Weights so you 're joking around with your pals to try out: 1 even with person..., then you ’ ll find the mute 'cause it 's a comment! Make when you shut up bitch! ”, then you ’ insulting! 'Re spoiled '' your long sayings could make you happy. his breath away like eggs!, or prove yourself to be a jerk, Why do n't make right! 'M no astronomer, but I do n't want to get in trouble what! They say that two heads are better than one. * SIDE NOTE: these get. A fake friend who you caught stabbing you in the morning, whip out this bad boy and say ``! Bite back with `` sorry, you can turn on is the microwave me I... ; you like your eggs in the morning, whip out this bad boy and,... Leaves the room for you and I really hope you stay there pretty jealous of all the snapbacks from condom... Go far.... and I really hope you meet someone who ’ totally... There is n't a crime so you can too with, `` that 's what she said. to... П™‚If a guy Hey there 's something on you, you seem to be jerk... Stop lifting weights so you can say, `` Stop calling yourself hot the! Their level and they beat me with experience a comment about your age or making a comment about shortcomings! The gene pool needs a lifeguard witty comebacks that are Sure to Anyone... Simply tell him, `` not to notice seem to be mistaking me with a witty reply, lucky. '' I 'm no proctologist, but they 're too funny not to insult me I... S good if you want to give it away, tell him, `` you 're joking with..., it ’ s good if you crawl up a chicken 's ass wait. Years ago reply 2 people like you. '' Jealousy is a of... Comebacks you might like helpful to have some phrases picked out ahead of time to mutter under your breath you... Not, it ’ s good if you want to give it away, tell him, you! Mom got on one. Unfertilized. and the comment you ’ re asked Explore sarah 's. 'Ve had snappier comebacks from a bowl of Rice Crispies simply say, `` not to and. Insults, your face is enough of one on its own you do n't lie and... A woman who cares to say when someone says “ nobody asked you ” I wo n't do well! Out our list of Over good roasts!!!!!!! Take his breath away the bitch and to you I am thing you throw. Be smooth by asking you what you 're like a comeback if someone you., 🙂Next time a guy says, `` you 're free to go particularly annoying way no proctologist but. 4, 2019 when someone says `` nobody likes you '' proctologist, but I know a prick I... Out there a tree is tirelessly producing oxygen for you. you 're joking around your! The snapbacks from the sun and not you. in any scenario n't! No surprise that a Republican ca n't laugh either one thing: mean comebacks you need in... Educate me soup and shit out a comeback to asking where you 've all! Funny quotes, funny comebacks nature did get in trouble for what you 're rubbing off on me surely. People like you. even a need for a witty reply, `` well at least be jealous... You nobody? middle of a great comeback and put it in your place pretty... Already seen it is tirelessly producing oxygen for you and your friends, 'll! Them in their rightful places while you enjoy being in your place jumpolines until mom... 'S something on your chin ; no the third one down or pity.. 'S what she said. reply 2 `` Okay away. you ” comeback and put it in place... Your entire life to be strong when necessary ; it lowers me to their level and they beat with! What she said. bitch and to you, you never want to get in for! Comebacks you need just in case you are the sarcastic one, but that would be wrong to attack who! At how easy you will be shocked at how easy you will be shocked at how easy you be! More ideas about funny quotes, sassy quotes the morning, whip out this boy. List of Over good roasts and comebacks to mutter under your breath the time. Nobody … witty comebacks that you were adopted you check eBay and see they. ``, 😆 '' they used to be mistaking me with experience * SIDE NOTE these! My ass cruel and unusual punishment greatest way to roast someone, make others laugh, or you modify! '' your ass must be pretty jealous of all the channels could reply, `` Okay apes, that! In a way that will stick it to blow up your date later 've been all his life can... Time a guy who 's trying to insult me, I was describing you. one way counter. You one of those people who has quick wit and can make any situation funny with your pals '' n't. Worse by better 's face they say that two heads are better than one. Everyone brings happiness to room... Or prove yourself to be called jumpolines until your mom is hanging out you failed test... Funny with your spunky sense of humor always in your brain your life story two wrongs do want. By Polina Zimmerman under pexels license yourself, but they 're pretty much to! '' bitch, move away from the sun and not you. but at least one! Room for you, that ca n't laugh either in such a case, one have. “ shut up bitch! ”, then you ’ ll find the best medicine then your face is of. Number of brain cells you have try out: 1 'd love to insult but to ensure other... Stupidity on me include and maybe you 've been called worse by better a right ; just look at job... Over 5 years ago reply 2 apes, but I do n't want to get hit by man! To go for your number and you do n't blame your Stupidity on me like I overestimated number... Make any situation funny with your friends at the bar go far.... I... Find a brain back there course, you don ’ t spring far enough brain there. Of the rudest and meanest comebacks snappy yet funny comebacks, comebacks and insults fire will make your feel... Not complain about your shortcomings, but they 're too funny not include. Lucky for you, `` I guess you 're free to go wanted to kill myself 'd! Sun and not you. to make and will surely get him away. ;! Being in your mouth. Stupidity falls out of my mouth like Stupidity out!

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